Olympics!

So, yes we are those people, the people who watch the opening ceremonies and quite a few of the actual games. We have already had a little hilarity and some serious cheering (US stomping Columbia after that skank popped Wambach in the eye), our boys taking the silver in Archery, watching the rowing and the swimming and and...yeah. We will be keeping up with most of it.

One thing that is bothering me about the Olympics now is the lackluster reception our competitors receive if they take any medal other than Gold. Since when is a Silver or Bronze medal not worth our esteem and congratulations? These people bust their asses and have to overcome immense competition just to get to the Olympics then they have to battle the best of the best from every freaking country in the world and suddenly a Silver medal isn't enough to cheer for??? Seriously?

Anyway, life has been typical but fairly good over here aside from the constant sound of sports commentators in the background and Storm or I bellowing at the tv from time to time. We are coming ever closer to Pride, things are constantly changing and updating and stuff coming up at the last minute but we expect all of this. That is just how these major events seem to work and the closer we get to the big day, the more chaotic things seem to get. We will make it through.

We have some other major stuff going on in August as well. Our baby, the youngest of our two legged children, is turning 11 this month. That may not seem like much to some...but people...this is the BABY. She is starting middle school. She is a freaking tween. As fast as our life seems to slip by, she will be graduating high school soon. The eldest will be heading back to college in a little over two weeks and then we are down to ONE. After so many years with three kids running around our house all the time, this will be strange. I am looking forward to the added peace and quiet and making smaller meals and all that good stuff, but it will still be weird for a while. We are getting so old.

My first week of my first class is going well so far, but I didn't expect anything different. The first class is always the easiest because it is more an introductory thing than anything. I have to get a paper written tomorrow but don't think it is going to be too much drama for me. The assignment has gotten me thinking though. This assignment is a two page layout of where we want to be in five years, having completed this leg of our education. I know where I would like to be but mapping it out in detail actually sounds like it will be helpful. If I picture it and work at it hard enough, I can make my own little map to achieving it. Wish me luck.
More soon. Blessings.

Updates

So I should have update before now but life is what it is and sometimes gets away from me. We have been busy with getting Pride planned and trying to get all of the details nailed down, I have been trying to get everything taken care of for starting school (yes, I was accepted to the Master's program and am starting class officially tomorrow), and I have been taking more goof off time than I should.

I have been in a pretty funky space. I think part of this is the heat. I do not handle heat well and it makes me feel lethargic and listless. That is not a good recipe for getting things done. I think another part is sheer rebelliousness because of everything I am supposed to be doing. I have lists that are miles long and often feel I am tackling things alone because I hate to ask for help and if someone doesn't see that it needs to be done, I don't feel I should have to ask. This is one of those unrealistic expectations that I seem to have a problem letting go of. I am working on it though. My husband has been wonderful and we now have some very hardworking, go-getter types helping us with Pride stuff so that is a nice bonus.

I seriously can't wait to get through my daughter's birthday, getting the oldest back to college, and getting the youngest back to school (not to mention getting through Pride). All of that will happen in August and once that is over, I want to seriously concentrate on school and my business. I need to get some things made before Pride but I also want to get a session set up with a photographer so the pictures on my website are more appealing. I think the pieces I make will go much better if people can really see what they are buying and I can get some publicity rolling. I am going to get very focused on what I can do to boost my business and some of my friends' business' in the process.

I think I am also going to sit down with my husband when this is all over and talk to him about setting real goals to move away from here. By the time we would be financially able to do so, we should have the Alliance on solid enough ground to hand over the reigns to people who are capable of keeping up the momentum and plan on staying here. I almost feel like we are doing the organization a disservice because if we had the money, we would leave tomorrow. Then I think about the positives that come of doing as much good as we can here while we are still here. I think it pretty much levels out.

I am sure I will be back soon to rant about school and keep my thoughts from exploding in my head. Blessings.

Major decisions on a dime

Okay, so I have always intended to go back to school for my Masters degree but decided to take some time off and get a break. I have been looking around a little lately with the intent of maybe going back towards the end of this year, or the beginning of next. We have so much going on right now that I wanted to get things a little settled on the home and organizational front before tackling my education again.

Well, that was before I requested information on a college that looked interesting last night. Lo and behold, a recruiter called today. Brownie points were given right out of the gate because she pronounced my given name correctly...which rarely happens. Then they actually had a program I was interested in. I have been having some issues in that direction because I decided I wasn't going to get further in debt unless the program was what I wanted. My interests are industrial and organizational psychology and environmental psychology. Environmental psych programs are ridiculously hard to find, just so you know. I/O is not quite as bad but still not what I would call prevalent.

So this college has online courses, which I need, it has the right program with the specialty I want, the tuition is much more reasonable than what I paid for my Bachelor's program, and the class structure seems pretty reasonable. So I was fretting and thinking and the recruiter says they have a class starting in 10 days and if I qualify I will also get $100 credit towards text purchases and such if I start classes by the end of this month. I was still waffling because the timing just seems to suck considering all that I have going on.

I just have to say that my husband is wonderful. In the middle of all this drama and all my nerves, he turns to me and says, "your education is more important than everything else and if this is what you want, we will make sure you have the time you need. I will support you no matter what and if it needs to, everything else can just fucking wait." So I seriously consider all of this and realize he is right. My current degree isn't doing me a damn bit of good where we live and the sooner I start school, the sooner I finish and can really get into what I want to do. I want a job that makes a difference. I want to work in the non-profit sector and manage to make a modest living doing good things for those who need it. I need this degree to do all of the above.

So I sent in the application for the program and filled out financial aid information today. It isn't a guarantee that I am in, but taking the plunge and going through that process was pretty big for me. I am sincerely hoping that it works out but have decided to turn it over to the Gods and let things happen the way they are supposed to. Let's just hope Loki or Coyote aren't in charge this week...lol.

And cleaning some more...

Yes, I am doing it again. Those who have my tendencies know that there is a regular rotation to cleaning. My family just loves the eu-de-bleach...lol. At least the bathroom is fully sanitized and I am more comfortable in the cleanliness.

We are getting ready to paint too. We will have the paint and get that ball rolling tomorrow. I can't wait because the walls look dingy to me and that makes me crazy. Once we get everything painted (with a semi gloss this time so I can wipe it down and it actually get clean) it will be time to get the carpets cleaned. Then I can really breathe through the OCD and just do regular chores and be ok for a bit.

Pride plans are coming along nicely and we seem to be drumming up some interest. I will be glad to get through it but I am also excited to see how successful we manage to make it. No matter what, we can definitely say that we worked our butts off trying to bring a Pride celebration here. As proud as I am of all that we are accomplishing and as much as I look forward to progressing in this area, I still really want to move.

Two of our very good friends are all about us moving to Iowa (you know who you are). I would actually like to make that move but unfortunately we are not a position to move half way across the country at the moment. The other obstacle has more to do with family. My mom does not want to live too far away from us because of the youngest grandbaby, we would be leaving our oldest here in college, our son would still be here, and my sister in law (who also happens to be my best friend) would want to follow us as well.

There are times when I truly wish I just had the money to comfortably support us all and move us all. Then I have to get a reality check and remind myself that we can't be responsible for all of the other adults in our lives and we have to focus on us and the babygirl. I still really wish we were in a position to move because though there are a lot of people here that I love, I cannot stand this city or the state. It might be better if we lived further north in the state in a more progressive area that was cooler because of the mountains. It still wouldn't be good enough though. The politics and policies and laws in this state are so very backward. By the time anything comes close to changing, our youngest will probably be grown. Meh.

Cleaning house and atmosphere..

It is sometimes amazing to me how cleaning my house (or having kids help clean my house in this morning's case) changes the atmosphere of my house so drastically for me. This may sound strange to some, but having the house clean and smelling traces of bleach and other cleaners does wonders for my mood and relaxation. I don't know if it has to do with my OCD issues or if it is simply some kind of sensory nostalgia, but my mood improves by leaps and bounds when I feel like my home is clean and sanitized. Moving furniture and doing a deep clean is probably very stressful for most people but it acts in the opposite for me. I often start out irritable and full of anxiety and stress but by the time things are getting where I want them and the smells are starting to fill the house, my whole demeanor and stress level changes drastically.

Amazingly, as long as I do the directing and the kids are not trying to tell each other what to, it seems to lighten the mood for them as well. They start working cooperatively to help me and each other out and then get into all kinds of discussions while we work. For those parents who don't make their children do chores and feel kids shouldn't be responsible for the deep cleaning in the home, pay attention here. First, it teaches them how to keep their space neat and organized which is a skill they need to have as adults even if you have the money to hire someone else to do it. Second, when they work cooperatively, they learn to deal with one another based on their strengths and weaknesses and if you make them keep the television off, they actually talk to each other. Third, they learn a good work ethic and how to accommodate differing personalities and priorities. Bottom line, teaching your kids to clean is good for them. I am now done with my sermon for the day.

It finally stormed yesterday afternoon and cooled things off enough to be tolerable. We got some nasty lightening and hail for a while but it was worth it to get some relief from the oppressive heat we have been dealing with. That may have something to do with my improved mood today as well. Unlike most of the people I know, I get less tolerant of heat and more tolerant of cold as I get older. I seriously want to move much further north at some point in our future. It might have to wait until the little one is finished with school but until it happens, I consider it a lifetime goal.

We are still on a house hunt too. Storm is out running errands at the moment, but that endeavor will commence when he gets home. I am praying to the Goddess constantly that things work out the way they are meant to and that they are meant to get us out of this house and into another school district before the young one starts school, but we shall see. At least at this point I can see us making some progress on going through and weeding out the immense amount of "stuff" we have and getting things better organized in preparation for a move. I just hope everyone else in the house will work with me on this. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Blessings.

Desire and envy

I am guilty of a few sins. Though I am pagan and don't follow the doctrine of christianity, I will admit to these few. I want a home of my own very badly. We are renting and have been for years. Everything has been eh, okay, for the most part but our landlord turns into a total ass anytime anything needs to be fixed. The house is very old, the people who rented it before us ragged it out, and its age and mileage is starting to tell on it. The problem is that our landlord tries to find some way to blame us for these ills. The bottom line is that he didn't fix anything when the old renters moved out and a house requires maintenance. If you keep a regular check on most things and actually fix them before they become catastrophic, it will cost money but doesn't have to bankrupt you. We have had continuous problems with the heating and air system here since we moved in. Every season we have to call him because it isn't working right. Finally, this past winter, he had to replace the unit because the one in the house was so old that the ac guys couldn't even find parts to fix it. That was also the first time in all the years we have lived here that he sent out a professional and not the crackhead that lived across the street him in an attempt to save money.

Well the last few days have been well over 100 degrees here and the ac wasn't even close to keeping up. The thermostat in the house was registering over 90 (the needle bottoming out as far as it would go) and Storm called him. The landlord called back with his usual attitude that it had to be something we did and how much money we cost him and pretty much called Storm a liar. Storm lost his cool and got into a yelling match with the dude so I had to try to calm the situation. The problem now is that if he decides to keep this particular bee up his ass, I am sure he will try to find some reason to evict us. He more than hinted, blatantly stated actually, that any time we were ready to leave he was good with it. I am figuring that it is about time for him to get the house ready for commercial sale (our area has been rezoned and he has been waiting for the market to go up) so any excuse to get us out would work for him at this point.

Moving out of this house would definitely work for me but we have complications. Namely, too many damn animals for any renting landlord to want to deal with and not enough money, credit, or job history (because I work independently) for us to get financing to buy our own home. I have been researching possible options and we will do the best we can but damn. I feel responsible for much of this for not keeping a conventional job. If I had a solid work history for at least the last six months, things wouldn't be so hard. So right now I am really kicking my own ass and feeling crappy about the position we may find ourselves in if we can't find a place and our landlord decides to get nasty. I have never been evicted and really wouldn't want that kind of thing on my credit (as bad as it already is...long story). Of course I could also be indulging in a lot of mental masturbation and projecting negativity since there has been no mention of eviction except as a possible scenario in my head. I am just praying to the Goddess that things will work out the way they are supposed to.